48 Humorous Quotes by Samuel L. Jackson

For someone of this caliber, we cannot avoid introducing him with one of the quotes that made us laugh the most in 2015, “Haven’t you seen any movie ever? He’s the black guy.”

For those who don’t know, that was from “Ted 2” and warning, just watch it (if you haven’t) only if you are 18 years old or more. 

Getting serious about the topic, this quote actually refers to Samuel L. Jackson, and it makes us laugh every single time because, seriously, the guy has starred in way too many movies that he is unable even to count—said by himself during an interview. 

This great actor came a long way until he was able to become the big star we all know today as the guy from “Pulp Fiction” and Nick Fury in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

During his career, he has blessed us with many funny and hilarious quotes and sayings and some encouraging ones we cannot forget. Thus, what about going over some of his best quotes? Of course, keeping humor over everything else. 

  • “We’re all gonna be like three little fonzies here.”
  • “Given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”
  • “I never did one thing right in my life; you know that? Not one. That takes skill.”
  • “Hold on to your butts.” 
  • “Anyone who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.”
  • “I trust most people. Not producers.”
  • “And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.”
    “You tell me where my suit is, woman! It’s for the greater good!”

Quotes by Samuel L. Jackson #2 -

  • “Hamburgers… The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.”
  • “Look, do you wanna play blind man? Go walk with the shepherd.”
  • “And what’s Fonzie like? Come on, Yolanda, what’s Fonzie like?”
  • “Zeus! You got a problem with that?”
  • “You been taking them dick pills again?”
  • “Everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘umption.'”
  • “I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!”
  • “Just ’cause you pour syrup on something doesn’t make it pancakes.”
  • “You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once and got a taste for murder.
  • “Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your conversation?”
  • “People know about the Klan and the overt racism, but the killing of one’s soul little by little, day after day, is a lot worse than someone coming in your house and lynching you.”
  • “I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven’t had a drink now in 12 years.”
  • “I actually think I have an audience member’s sensibility about going to the movies.”
  • “My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass.”

Quotes by Samuel L. Jackson #3 -

  • “Lifelong readers continue to read, finding in books the means to enjoy life or endure it.”
  • “Girl, don’t make me put my foot in your ass.”
  • “If you do not have courage, you may not have the opportunity to use any of your other virtues.”
  • “Look, do you wanna play blind man? Go walk with the shepherd. But for me, my eyes are wide f****** open.” 
  • “People go to movies on Saturday to get away from the war in Iraq and taxes and election news and pedophiles online and just go and have some fun. I like doing movies that are fun.”
  • “If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions.”
  • “What kills me is that everybody thinks I like jazz.” 
  • “The best advice that was given to me was that I had to be ten times smarter, braver, and more polite to be equal. So I did.”
  • “I have a lot more energy than I used to have.” 
  • “If you have an opportunity to use your voice, you should use it.” 
  • “I grew up watching those blaxploitation movies. Ron O’Neal, Richard Roundtree, Jim Brown, Pam Grier. For the first time, I saw ‘The Negro’ get one over on ‘The Man.’”
  • “We need to change America’s image around the world. America has lost some luster in terms of how folks aspire to be like us.”

Quotes by Samuel L. Jackson #4 -

  • “Because of where I come from, I never thought I’d see in my life a black candidate running for President.”
  • “It wasn’t until I let go of the idea of the brass ring that it showed up, and fortunately for me, it coincided with getting clean.”
  • “I don’t understand how people live without creating.”
  • “You ain’t got but one life. You ought to live it the way you want.”
  • “Everything that I’ve gone through informs me and my opinions in a way; I guess because I am a child of segregation. I lived through it. I lived in it, and I was of it.”
  • “I think the biggest challenges for franchises are keeping them fresh and exciting, and most times, you need a good, bad guy to make that thing continually work, and sometimes they don’t.”
  • “I see myself as a storyteller. So, when I read something, I see the story, and I see it on screen, in my head, in a certain way. I always want to see it and see me in it.”
  • “Todoroff is the best. Look no further.” 
  • “Please! Goddammit! I hate this hacker crap!”
  • “English, Motherf*cker, do you speak it?”

Quotes by Samuel L. Jackson #5 -

  • “Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye.” 
  • “Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!”
  • “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.”
  • “Honey, where’s my super suit?” 

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Written by Dame Cash

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